Gifts given, without the intention of giving?
(The best form of a gift you can give.)
Every morning I wake up: Usually after 7 alarms sounding from my phone. ( I intentionally set usually about 6 or 7 since the first one or two never work. I also have a fear of being late.)
Groggily shove on my glasses.
Make the coffee that I set out the night before and watch it brew like my life depends on it.
(Which it probably does. Or at least the days productivity relies on it.)
I then sit and meditate while the caffeine runs through my system. There is a clarity that comes from this moment every morning, and sometimes a realization. I’ll get back to that realization in just a second. First, here’s how it ended up waltzing into my mind in the first place:
Yesterday was Thanksgiving. A day that revolves around a massive feast, leaving us all in a Food-Coma. For me, Thanksgiving is just another holiday, the only difference being that it involves turkey, stuffing and other delicious objects. It’s definitely got the best message out of all the holidays, but I am grateful for everything I have every single day and I don’t believe we should acknowledge what we are grateful for on only 1 out of the 365 days of the year. One thing that I did notice though as I said hello to people, and scrolled through various social networking “status” updates, was how most people only focus on the “Thanks” half of “Thanksgiving”. Saying Thank You is wonderful and important, but what about the Giving? Or the meaning of what it is to “give”? It’s probably even more important than saying Thank You. If you think about it, Thank You makes you the “Given” or the Receiver. That brings up what the meaning of Giving actually is. I can give someone a beautifully wrapped present, I can give someone a favor, I can give them my advice, give my love, give money, give my help. But it boils down to how or why I give something. So many times people “give” conditionally. With motives and hidden agendas and that only leaves the Receiver jaded. If you can’t give unconditionally, you’re not giving at all. But if you can give just for the sake of giving? If you can give the homeless man 5 bucks and not think about whether he’ll go by a Beer or a Bagel? You’re a better person for it.
But the best kind of gift… is when you’re unaware of something you gave to another.
(which brings me back to that realization from earlier.)
This morning, somehow my thoughts led to an experience I recently had; a good experience, and one that I was completely unaware of in that moment. I was in a situation where I was dissecting the human emotion of being vulnerable. That soft spot in all of us that we usually protect. For some it’s easier than others to access that “spot” in us. There are so many times in life when we don’t understand “why” something has to happen. In that moment, it may be something ordinary, or something painful, or something that goes unnoticed. Until days, months or years later when you realize “why” it had to happen. Or how different your life would be if that one thing hadn’t occurred at that moment in your life. Maybe that’s the funny part about each day that goes by. We think we’re controlling it and think we’re customizing our own routines, when in reality, there are so many details and factors that go into the outcome of our life. Whether you believe in fate, destiny or any of that “controlled-by-the-universe” way of thinking isn’t the point. It’s that you continue to do your best every day in furthering yourself while allowing the variables to occur at the same time. This person indirectly taught me so much about myself, and it was such a special gift and lesson that I can’t even go into detail about it here. All I know is that on a personal level, on a professional level and an intellectual level it was the best gift I’ve ever been given. And they don’t even know it.
I can think of many people who have given me things without intending to do so. There are so many people who come in and out of our lives, and even the negative ones (maybe even more so with the negative ones) give us something that they probably didn’t mean to. So this thanksgiving, I’m grateful for everyone I’ve ever met; both positive and negative. Because they all taught me something, and whatever lesson I learned was a gift. Sometimes the worst experiences are my most cherished. We should all make the attempt to not only be the Receiver saying “Thank You” but also the Giver saying “You’re Welcome.”
