The only outcome of quitting: Regret.

I don’t have a regular “blogging” pattern.  Unfortunately I can go months without writing, but I realized that it’s not necessarily a bad thing.  I can only write about something that inspires me, bothers me and itches that part of my brain that screams with a hand up in the air “I have something to say about that!”

So being that I have the luxury of writing for myself and no deadlines to make, I wait.  And then, like the other day, something occurs, lighting a flame to that Opinion inside me.

(and, well, opinions should be voiced, especially since there is no arguing them).

Recently, I was asked by someone : “so if in a few years things don’t work out and your dreams aren’t taking off would you quit and do something else?”

I blinked twice. Stared at this person as if I had just been asked if I’d like to go back to highschool and take Algebra II again. Or go for a swim in the Arctic Ocean. Or give up drinking coffee. Or maybe they said the whole question in Chinese because honestly I didn’t even know how to respond to it.

“QUIT??”  I thought to myself in disbelief.

The only response that came out of my mouth was “I don’t know what the word ‘quit’ means. So to answer your question: no.”

I did not grow up with the words “failure” , “quit”, or “boredom” in my vocabulary.  They never even crossed my mind.  My brothers and I grew up with a mother who told us we could accomplish anything we set our minds to.  Children do not think “How?” when they’ve got a goal in mind.  They just go until they get it.  And if it doesn’t work out as they planned? The only question is “Why not?”

If adults thought more like those children they used to be, they’d probably have more answers to all of the stress inducing circumstances in life.

So I thought all day about this persons question of why I continued on a path that was not “reliable”.  Why do we look at the Arts as an “unreliable” path?  So many children every day are told not to pursue a career in music, art, dance, theater, film, writing- and it always baffles me.  Becoming the #1 surgeon in America doesn’t look any easier than the industry I’ve pursued, and that is simply just because I would not know or be interested in the first thing related to becoming a doctor of any sort.  I think the only way you can be a “successful” person is if you’ve pursued what you’re passionate about while being able to live comfortably.  Success is not defined by your financial status alone, but your morals, integrity, humility and respect for yourself and those who help you.  Yes, so many people struggle every day financially because of a career path that didn’t work out.  We all know how many actors are unemployed and obviously you have to make a living somehow.  So find a way to make money, while continuing what you love.

I’ve spoken to people who live very comfortably, have beautiful homes, go on vacations and eat out regularly.  But when they speak of ‘happiness’ there is a hint of sadness in their eyes, despite what words are coming out of their mouth.  Then there are people I’ve had conversations with, who may not have millions but they never stopped the pursuit of their passion.  And they look happy.  It got me to thinking about “Regret”.  Why do people “regret” things? If you think about it, they are pointless because all regrets exist in the past- there’s nothing you can do to change them.  Yet we all speak of them.  I’ve always believed that if every single day you listened to your intuition and not the opinions influenced by others, you won’t have regrets.  If you ignored your gut or intuition, then yes I do understand “regret”.  Because deep down a voice was screaming at you to handle a situation differently- and it was ignored.

(I just made a lot of people angry with that statement. )

“Yes you will always have regrets! That’s like saying you’re never going to make mistakes.  Are you saying that you don’t wish you could go back and change something, or do it differently?!”

No. That is not what I am saying.  But to answer that question, no I do not have regrets.  ( I know, also that there will be plenty of scoffing at this entry, since I am only 20 and still have lots of Life to Live).  Yet that does not mean that the 20 years on earth I’ve had didn’t leave room for mistakes or choices that I made.

And I have most certainly made a lot of decisions that have changed my life.  And I do not regret a single one.  Every time I look back at something I chose to do, a path I chose to take, I realize there was a reason it had to happen. (Even if I did not know the reason at the time.)  Also, each choice was my own and not someone else’s.  If in the moment of making a decision, you are doing what you see as the best solution, genuinely, then there is no room for “regret”.

So. What does “regret” have to do with my refusal to quit any dream of mine?  They are completely related.  Because the moment I quit will be the moment I have a regret larger than the universe.  At the end of my life at least I can say that I was responsible for how it turned out.  Without doubt, there are times where we find ourselves in bad circumstances.  Often, sometimes we may blame someone or other people for why we are in a messy situation.  But the truth is, that in the end, only we can change that and that is why I only listen to myself.  At the same time, we don’t have all the answers.  That’s where those dear people in our life come to give us advise or perspective, and it is always good to listen to each and every one.  Yet after I’ve pooled together everyone’s suggestions, I make my own decision.  I think that’s the only way I can lead an authentic life.

I’ve chosen to do some crazy things and relied solely on my instinct.  Sometimes it pans out and sometimes it doesn’t, but I’ve never regretted anything for even a second.  The industry I’m in is a challenging one, yet so is the world of journalism, fashion, finance, medicine and politics.  I think we all owe it to ourselves to decide what is “realistic” by focusing on the one thing we feel best doing.

The ending to my ramble? Yes. I believe we can do whatever we tell ourselves we can.  I believe that negative thoughts are paralyzing and therefore I only write and think about things that some people believe belong only on a corny greeting card.  I feel bad for anyone who has not found their purpose or passion in life and can’t fathom the thought of waking up with an empty pit in my stomach just because I had no idea who I was or what I wanted to do with the one life we are given.  So I’ll continue to wake up every day and envision the best possible outcome, because what is the point of imagining the alternative?  Well, there is no point to the negative.  It does not get us anywhere, it doesn’t make us feel better, it only enrages and scares us into a hole of fear that becomes almost impossible to escape from.

So either you like what I wrote, or you don’t.  Maybe you agree, or maybe you think I don’t know what I’m talking about and dreams are meant for Disney movies.  Either way, I’m happy today because I don’t believe in the word “Quit”.

(and those Disney movies all have good endings. just sayin’)

this is a ring my mother gave me a few years ago. it is a simple silver band that reads "wishes do come true" ( I wear it on my middle finger.)

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