Because my mother said not even the sky was my limit…

“Listen to the mustn’ts, child.  Listen to the don’ts.  Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibles, the won’ts.  Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me… Anything can happen, child.  Anything can be.”
-Shel Silverstein

she just couldnt…

stop…

laughing.

Photographs by Conor Leslie 2007

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know
I think I can

by conor leslie

Once upon a time there was a Little Boy with Big Blue eyes who wanted to be an Astronaut and fly to the moon. So he started reading Astronomy Books. One day he went to show his mother a model of Mars that he had made.

“You can’t go into space, it’s too dangerous and hard,” said his mother.

(He looked at the model and threw it out.)

The Little Boy then decided he wanted to be a football player. He carried a football everywhere with him, practicing his grip.

“You can’t be a football player, you’re not strong or fast enough,” said his mother.

(He looked at the football and put it in the garage.)

The Little Boy then decided he wanted to be a painter.  He brought his father a painting of the ocean.

“You can’t be a painter, they don’t make enough money,” said his father from behind his desk.

(He put the painting in the trash with a sigh.)

The Little Boy then decided he wanted to be a guitar player and singer. He went to sing a song he wrote to his father.

“You can’t be a singer, you need to have a stronger voice,” said his father.

(The Little Boy just went back to his room and stared out the window. What could he be when he grew up? Ah! Yes! )

“I’ll be an actor!” the little boy said with glee.

“You can’t be an actor, less than 15% of them are employed,” said his mother over dinner.

So the Little Boy grew up and went to school, went to college and got a job. But the Little Boy lost ideas of what he wanted, and settled for a job that could fill his days, and pay the bills.

(Only now, his Blue eyes were Grey.)

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Once upon a time, there was a Little Girl with Big Green eyes who wanted to be an Astronaut and fly to the moon.  She started reading Astronomy books.  One day she went to show her Mom a model of Mars that she had made.

“You can go to Mars, Pluto and the Moon!” said her mother.

(that night the Little Girl looked up from her bed and saw her mom had put glow in the dark stars on her ceiling.  She smiled, and went to sleep.)

Then the Little Girl decided she wanted to be a Tennis Player.  She walked around the house bouncing two tennis balls at once, one in each hand.

“You could hit that tennis ball from here to the Moon if you wanted to,” said her mother.

(that night there was a new tennis racquet on the Little Girl’s bed, and the Little Girl practiced her swing all night.)

Then the Little Girl decided she wanted to be a painter.  She brought her father a painting of the ocean.

“You are the next Picasso-what pretty colors,” said her father, swinging the Little Girl onto his lap.

(that night, there was a new paint set and easel in the Little Girl’s room.  She painted till her hands hurt.)

Then the Little Girl decided she wanted to be a guitar player and singer.  She went to sing a song she wrote to her father.

“You should go make room on your shelf for your Grammy,” said her loving father.

(that night, a brand new guitar was lying on the Little Girl’s bed.  She beamed, and sat on that bed all night, strumming off-key notes till sleep arrived, and once again, she dreamed.)

The next day, the Little Girl stared out the window, not sure if she still wanted to be any of those people. What could she be when she grew up? Ah! Yes!

“I’ll be an actress!” the Little Girl said with glee.

“You’ll be the next Meryl Streep,” said her mother over dinner.

…And when the Little Girl who became a Little Woman collected her Oscar, her eyes glistened.

(Only now, her Green eyes were Emerald.)

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I believe I can do whatever I put my mind to because when I was little, my mom bought me a guitar to be a singer (even though my voice is not exactly angelic).  She bought me an easel when I wanted to be an artist.  She got me a puppy veterinarian set when I wanted to be a vet, a journal and pen when I wanted to be a writer and she drove me back in forth (along with 2 younger brothers) to the city on my castings when I started out modeling & acting. Never even questioned it or tried to push me onto another path. It all goes back to the parents; children need to be shown a path.  They need to be told “Yes you can” not “No you can’t” and they need water, sunlight, and love in order to grow.  It’s what makes Whole Adults, and if those Whole Adults were taught that they have no limitations, and that dreams come true, what do you think they’ll teach their children? And a beautiful cycle will begin.

You can’t have a Rainbow without the Rain

It’s amazing.  How your perspective can change on a dime.  Or just looking at a situation in a different light can make you happy or the opposite.  The other day it was raining in New York, just like it has been for the past week.  It wasn’t just rain though, it was cold, freezing, chills-down-your-spine- rain.  That rain that makes everything difficult while you commute or go to your appointments.  The rain that makes New York City look grey especially with all of the skyscrapers towering over you.  I woke up too late so I didn’t have time to go to the gym or fix my hair. So I quickly wet it and blew dry it.  Had a serious “throw-all-your-clothes-around-your-room-because-none-of-it-seems-to-look-good” moment, and then opted for jeans (duh) a white tank and a gray-cuffed boyfriend blazer (apparently that’s what they’re called now).  Looked in the mirror, pinched my cheeks, some lip balm and attempted to pack for the day.  While my morning had been rushed, I was thrilled about one thing: I had a beautiful pair of Hunter Rain boot’s to get me through the trenches of New York on this DrizzleDay.  Plum Purple is their color.  A jacket and a new umbrella that I bought 2 weeks ago.  Out the door, said hello to Larry across the hallway, iPod in (Rainy Day playlist humming in my ears), I ventured out into the Rain Storm. (Happy.)

I got to the bus barely.  There were 3 handicapped and elderly people in front of me.  So it took about 12 minutes for the bus steps to lower, fixate, bring the first person up on board and repeat.  While the commuters in back of me complained, I just waited.  What good was it to complain?

Now on the bus, iPod still playing, I missed my stop, since I was too preoccupied with my script.  Flew off the bus, ran to transfer at the subway, dropped my script and metro card, picked them up, got in the subway, “PLEASE SWIPE AT TURNSTILE AGAIN” appeared a few times, and 3^rd time was a charm.  Saw the train leaving.  Waited for the train again.

Most often when it’s raining and your day starts with over-hitting the “Snooze” button, it’s easy to assume “Yea, this is going to be a bad day”.  However, having to be grateful for even just one thing such as my Umbrella which I noticed many people missing today, or even my working legs which I’m sure the handicaps on the bus noticed, or even something as small as my Rainboots- changes your view.  Stomping in puddles, not looking down to avoid the rain from soaking my feet, was so liberating. In fact, I was so happy, that I chose to make my Bridget Jones moment, a Don Lockwood moment.

(….Today it is sunny.  And it’s just as good.)

Friendship: the company of yourself and a select few

So I feel terrible for taking this long to do a blog post.  It’s just that when I first started this blog, I spent a few days in my room , organizing this site, and got nothing else done! So each time I went back to it I was scared of how many hours my face would be in front of the screen.  But now I have put my gym clothes on, and I am allowing myself one hour on this, so that when that hour is up, I can flyyyyy to the gym and start my day.

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“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”
- Anais Nin

This week I have been thinking about Friendship.  How there are so many different types of friends- friends who you go to to make you laugh, to make you feel better, to have deep conversations with etc… Even my dog is a friendship just as valuable as my human contacts.  The other day, I met up with one of my oldest friends, who I’ve known since I was 13.  He is one of those friends that I have gone 9 months without seeing yet when we did reconnect it was as if no time had passed.  A friend who I can have a philosophical conversation with and also laugh at the most foolish things with.  Over dinner, we had a very long philosophical conversation on a question he had to answer for school “What don’t you know?”. ( I wont go into detail of how we went back and forth about this, because it would be a Blog all on it’s own).

We debated, played devils advocate and as our brows furrowed with deep thought, I also smiled; it is very rare you can find a friend like this, know them this long and can still be close, but also grow with at the same pace.  Sometimes friends come and go, and are only meant for a short period of your life.  But there are some friends who you just know are meant forever. Thanks for the chat Mr. Day.

The other great thing about finding a true friend, is that you don’t need to know them for years in order to be close.  I don’t believe that the length of time you know a person means you understand them more or less.  With that said, obviously a friend you’ve known for 8 years vs. 8 weeks will know more about you, have more jokes with you etc… But my point is, that you can click with someone and trust them just as much even if you met recently (say…on a commercial   )

I have a select few friends, all for different reasons and through different points of my life. My mom is one of my best friends (any of you who think its impossible, I promise it’s not.  Those of you who have a parent as your best friend know this – it’s one of the best friendships you’ll ever have.) My roommates are some of my closest friends, I have 2 people from my highschool that are close to me still, a friend from my childhood (since I was 7!) that I still talk to.  People I work with, select family members, brothers, dogs, past teachers, even friends of friends.  All on different levels, but nonetheless people I respect in some shape or form, and also enjoy the company of.  While all this is wonderful, and truly appreciated, the most valuable friend I have is Myself.  Not in a solitary way, or conceited way- but I feel that knowing myself, trusting myself, loving myself, is the greatest friendship I own.  What do you have if you can’t answer to yourself or trust your own decisions? Isn’t that what a friend is afterall?

Just remember to love yourself. Because if you can’t do that then how can you be a great friend to others? It’s the one person that you’ll always have.  I’ve always been picky about my relationships.  And it is not something that I regret, because the people in your life are always a reflection of yourself.  There are so many people who live under the illusion of Friendships that aren’t true.  I’m not saying to burn your bridges- networking is important.(However…)  But don’t compromise yourself if there is someone who has gotten the title of “Friend” when really all they do is hurt.  I spend a great deal of time with myself. Thinking, reading (now writing more) and while others may inquire “But isn’t that so lonely?” My response has always been “There is a difference between being Alone and Lonely. I am not lonely.”

Positive Prospective Perspective

This past Friday night, I went to see “Bright Star” with my mom.  It was one of those films that stuck with me a day later, as I thought about the tragic life of a young poet who left this earth far too soon.  At twenty-five John Keats died of Tuberculosis, a common disease for the time period.  Still in twenty-five years of life, he lived more and loved more than some people get to achieve in 90 years on this earth.  He understood the brevity of life and that each breath should be cherished incase it could be his last.

“I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the heart’s affections and the truth of imagination. What the imagination seizes as beauty must be truth – whether it existed before or not.” -John Keats

It made me contemplate the quality of people’s lives.  Whether they live 20 or 80 years, I think individuals actions and values in their life determines how much they have “lived”.  When you look at life in a Positive Prospective Perspective, ignoring all the “what if” negatives and follow the “why not” positives, you will smile more, breathe easier and realize that life is meant to be absorbed through events, challenges and taking risks.  Too often we concern ourselves with what the “cons” of a situation are, and that often leads to us not taking the risk or the leap- how boring(!) You can’t make guarantees on what “will” happen because it is out of your hands.   Fate, destiny, a persons “unavoidable future” is a debated topic.  On one hand people claim that you choose your life, because making certain decisions results in an outcome.  Others, on the other hand, release all control and say that whatever is meant to be, will be.   I agree with both.   I see my life as a timeline; getting from point A to point B.  However, those are more of positive intentions rather than controlling ones.  I believe there are different paths and events that we take in order to get to point B- so where I am going is my decision, and I will do everything in my power to keep toward that goal.  In that sense I am controlling my own destiny  by taking action.  How I get there, how long it takes, the minute details, I will leave up to the universe.  Because in the end, after asking yourself “Why did this happen” a million times, a pivotal life changing incident occurs and you sit back, smiling to yourself, “Oh, now I see”.

“We are not permitted to choose the frame of our destiny. But what we put into it is ours.” -
Dag Hammarskjold

Art in Many Forms

“In art, the hand can never execute anything higher than the heart can imagine.”-Ralph Waldo Emerson

The beautiful thing about Art is that it is Free. Free to be whatever it wants, coming along with many shapes and sizes.  Music, Film, Authors, Painters, Photographers, Designers- the list goes on.

Art is what keeps this world spinning, and I have always done my very best to support anyone’s craft in this field.  Artists are obsessive (even if you don’t think you are), they are perfectionists; and even when all the odds tell them that they are “one in a million”, even when they see another individual with similar talents, even when someone insults their work- they drive on with their passion and heart.  It’s not something you can explain with words- it’s something you just feel is right- it’s what you are meant to do in this lifetime.  How someone can claim that they are not “artistic” or don’t like art is beyond me- because art is simply creativity, and almost every field , in order to survive, you need to have some ounce of that.

Below are some very interesting forms of art that i have come across in my travels or online. let me know what you think

Hello Naomi Cucpcakes

Cappuccino Art

Beautifully Delicious!

Sand Art:

Joe Mangrum Sand Art (photo i took in Washington Sq. Park)

Fall…

So I have been journaling (manually- you know, the old fashioned way? paper in a journal and pen) since I was seven.  This new way of recording our thoughts, experiences and life is very new to me- and I must admit something I will have to get used to.   While I love being able to share my opinion with the globe by the click of a button, I cant help but hope that the Pen&Paper hobby will never die out.

With that now said, I feel it is a very necessary move to enter this world.  It’s funny- I am a person with a lot to say, very distinct and justified opinions and now that others will be reading it I am thinking of what to write about first! Not necessarily writers block- I have too much to say.  But what of it is of importance to all of you? Well I hope you find my thoughts of some interest, so here we go.

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The other day, I was walking around New York City (Oz in my opinion) , taking pictures and doing what I love to do: people watching.  It’s not stalking, not weird, but actually fascinating.  Next time you’re in a Starbucks, park, or even a party, try to take a step back and just observe.

Observe people’s reactions to another’s action- they often don’t know how much they are giving away by just one inflection on their face.  Their mannerisms, their many smiles( all meaning something different).  As I watched people in Washington Square Park, I took few photos.  I was very picky about the ones I took because on a note for photography, i think it is something that takes thought.  So many people today just click,click,click their cameras trying to record every bit of memory in their life.  Think about what you’re taking a picture of; it always comes out more meaningful.

The Bhagavad Gita teaches about being your own Witness.  My mother taught me this beautiful and helpful way of living life at a young age and it has helped me to not only be in full control of my actions, but also be aware of them.

In my opinion, we should all just go back to being children.  Their minds are so innocent and pure so “No” holds no relevance and “Why ?” does.  My favorite adults are child-like. Not child-ish (know the difference). Because children, most of all, dont know of any limits. Just what they love, what makes them laugh, and the truth.

This New World

This new world…new atmosphere/blogosphere/twitterosphere/technosphere is absolutely unavoidable. For the longest time, I swore I wouldn’t get sucked into Life-On-a-keyboard. But now that everyone i know is attached to it, i find its sometimes the only way to re-connect. So why not? Might as well, and i guess for someone as opinionated as me, with something to say, Blogging may be my next outlet.
P.O.V. (no, not Point of View, although that is another topic that i love)Persistance of Vision, is the phenomenon of the eye by which an “afterimage” is thought to persist for approximately one twenty-fifth of a second in the retina. In other, much simpler words: the theory supporting the illusion of Moving Pictures. I like to think that this title not only supports my love for film but also that the illusion of so many things in life by what we think we “see” are more detailed than the overall picture.